Help

Oh God help me to never become more of who I think I should be, more of a man, more of what this world or other people or Christians want me to be. Help me not to become more of who I am now, but just help me to see, that I want you to be able to say that "he is more like me."

Whatup...

Grady my bro,

and my mom, Ash and Madi in the background discussing the new house.

Yes that is my buddy's Geo and no its not a joke... lol

Working with all the bros.

Bonds and Ties

This is some of the ppl in my life who I value very very much, and I wouldn't trade the world for the bonds and ties seen in this picture.

My friends dad took it while we where all at Niagara Falls about a month ago.

And so from left to right and back to front...

Emily Berkemeyer: Em is third in the line Berky kids and a very fun friend. Im not sure if I have ever seen her without a smile lol, and she is always serving anybody around her.

Brianna Cooper: Bri is my sister who does all the the cooking in the house and has done since she was 9. She also takes care of the little kids and helps mom a ton. Pretty much she's a huge help to everybody and is way advanced beyond her years.

Joel Cooper: If anyone ever asked me who I had fought the most with in my life I would have to say its definitely Joel lol. I think just about all the trouble Joel has ever been in was because of me, And almost all the trouble I could have gotten into but didn't thru out the years is because of Joel :). Many a time has Joel talked me out of very insane things, in fact if it weren't for him I might be dead right now. :) But we do most things together and always have a good time.

Ray Hardisky: I really just met Ray but he is truly a bro after my own heart. I have a very good feeling that we will do something crazy together one day, and it is going to be a day to remember!

Elijah Berkemeyer: For those of you that don't know, the Berkemeyers and Coopers have merged into one family recently... we are now the Coopemeyers. So Elijah is now my little brother and and him and Steven are buds. Elijah is probably the cleanest and neatest younger guy I have ever met, his clothes are always clean and he hates things being a mess. He is a lot of fun to have around and I really look forward to watching him grow up.

Andrew Berkemeyer: Ok really, This guy is one of the most valued things in my life. At one time in my life I read about the bond between David and Jonathan and prayed that one day I would have a relationship like that. Andrew is one of my closest friends, and one I know will always have my back.

Ryan Cooper: ;)

Hannah Mckinght: I only met Hannah that day but I know some of her Fam and I look forword to getting to know her in the future.

Madison Berkemeyer: Madi is probably one of the most passionate and wholehearted Girls I have met to date. Between her brother Andrew and herself I have been more encouraged then ether will ever know. Add to all of that how she is never without a smart aleck come back to any stupid comments that I let slip, we really have some fun times. Anyway, she is a blast to have around and I would rather have non other point out that I am an idiot at times. :)

The next two girls I will skip for sadly I did not get a chance to meet them.

Haily Hardisky: If you ever meet Haily you will wonder like i do how so much fun and energy fits in such a small girl. I think she might be a close relation to hammy the squirrel off of Over The Hedge... no joke, lol. She is also a very good friend and a servant that I intend to pattern myself after.

Pic post splurge

Alright, so this is the start of a new phase on this blog... the time of the pic posts!

I now have a computer that takes less then three millennium to upload pictures.

So when ever I'm on the road I can keep up with you all.

Me a Bake out for lunch.

From left to right,

my brother joel, Me, Joe Edger and E-dog.

And a cook out at the the Shrouts.

Me, my sister Brianna, Dad and Steven Shrout.

And finally my new jeep with me Joe

and two of my little Bothers Seth and Luke.

Lol, this is Em Berky trying desperately to make a mean face...

She doesn't give it a lot of practice apparently. ;)

Life is a Good Thing

Alright, we are back online so-to-speak. My life is crazier then ever now, and always speeding up so that i never have a chance to settle down. But that is what I hoped would happen so we're all good. I came down here to MO with my fam to start work on the house and in the first three days down here we broke ground, bought an SUV, if all that wasn't enough got a call to go to TX for a job.

So we took off down to TX, worked for three days and now I'm back in MO.

So here are some pics to show you whats up.

This is the land where we're building our house, crazy huh?

My newly-wedded friend Daniel had a bunch of us over the other night. It was just like old times...except we now have a couple hanging with us :)

Here are three of the girls playing apples to apples.

From the left, Whitney Martin, Emily Berky and her sister Madison (who btw will brutally murder me if she ever sees this picture, im really not sure what shes doing but she doesn't normally look like a turtle ;)

And Joe and I just chillin'

Not what was intended

I have started to understand that only through time will some questions be answered and some thoughts completed. As a man(a young one anyway) of this time and place where i have been put to decide who i am, who i will become and to make the decisions that will decide to which kingdom i belong. The many many differing opinions and ideas that surround me in a thick mist weigh me down in till i am so disillusioned that I must cry out in despair... or forever be silent.

I must fight, but fight for what? To have a cause worth living for is a must but what is worth living for? Dieing unsatisfied can not be an option but what satisfies death?

At the time i write this my life is truly amazing and i have such peace, but it is when my cup overflows that i understand how completely empty my life is at times.

Its funny, I sat down to write about something so very different... something I thought was on my heart. But now i find that what I have just wrote is what was really smoldering inside.

Ryan

Update

Alone in a hotel room with my guitar is where I am to be found at the time of this post. We've been rained out this Saterday and so in effect have been condemned to a day of rest..yeah, I know awful.

Well it looks like I will be flying out from here in CO to Chicago tomorrow night. Just two more weeks and our tour will be over. I am very much looking forward to getting home and just chilling for a bit. :). It's been almost two months now on the road and it's time to be done for a while lol. So see all you friends back in MI real soon no matter if you like it or not! ;)

Live to die my friends,
Ryan

P.S. I should really change my profile pic huh? My brother took that after a snowboarding uhh..you know what, NM ;)

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

Back from the land of the Rebels

Ahh... it has been a bit hasn't it? Well I just did a quick check of all the blogs and I ended up on "The Scribbler". I don't even remember why i have her on on my watch list, must have been through a friend or something... but she had one of the dreaded tags, I have always had a fear of tags. But nonetheless, I shall fulfill my duty. :) Not tonight though, but soon. Well I'm in Tex right now, i do feel a deep sense of guilt about basking in 80 deg knowing that everyone up north is still running around like little Eskimos. Okay, I really don't feel guilty, But I do think about you guys sometimes when I'm Putting on SUN TAN LOTION!!! :) Just got a call from my dad and he's just trying to survive without his truck in all the snow lol.(we have the truck) But its going really good so far, we just rocked out the job here in Houston in half the time we thought, and in the morning we are off to Dallas. Then Las Veges, California, Colorado, Chicago on to the capital DC, and maybe north Dakota and Virgina. I'm really not trying to rub in guys that I'm having way more fun then all you northerners, walking around in enough Stuffing to fill my mattress. Its just, *sigh* You know what I mean? Yeah... ;) Well here is a vid that i watch alot and that has really impacted me in a big way, so I'm going to throw it up and see what you all think. Please, if you watch it leave a comment, okay?? If that to much for you then just don't watch it, in fact, just don't come here anymore. I cant stand it when non of you give a little feed back. Its not like im asking for a ton here, I dont post that aften ppl, come on. ;)

To live and die for

I've been reading a discussion started by another blogger and it just really coincided with a thought that has been slowly putting itself together deep in me for the past week er two.

Anyway, i was flipping through my little dashboard thingy and the post heading "The Role's of a Woman" caught my attention and so I read through it and thought it could be an interesting conversation to follow so I had all the later comments emailed to me.

The day after I was at work talking to my boss about all sorts of stuff. Good and bad music,(rap being good and everything else bad ;) The Screwtape letters, life and death and whether its effeminate for guys to be health freaks(it is) just to name a few topics through out the day.

Somewhere in all of that I mentioned something about that teen girl who recently tried to sail around the world, but was ship wrecked instead. Well he asked me what kind of wife and mother a girl who would try something like that would make(yeah, i know, what kind of ? is that??)
It just struck me as humorous, anyway back to subject...

I started hashing through some of my own thinking, like what does make a good wife and mother? Or a good dad? Or a "steady young man" (yeah thats not relative at all!!)
When I sit down and think about it, what do i really want in the girl Im going to hangout with for the rest of me life?? Or she in me?
To condense it down to something edible, what is it in our "Conservative Christian circles" That us young guys and girls are all ways idolizing in the the opposite sex?

But you know, I think I (and alot of young of others) have it all wrong. Because if I stop and think about what i am doing I realize that I am pouring myself out for a less-then excellent cause. I have swore to live to die, and to die to live, That is to live with the purpose of dieing in myself. And in dieing to my own will, I find my life in the King who traded his life for mine. I am not trying to sound righteous or as if I am a young man who thinks he has it together. Read this slowly, imagining I am sitting with you out under the stars in a horse pasture at three in the morning talking about life and struggles.(I'm smiling thinking of how many times i have done this. To the bros that have laid on your faces in the grass late into the night praying and talking, know this, I will never forget :')
But we must realize that to pour our life out for anything, other then to serve
our God is to take the life he bought with blood and giving it to something, or someone else! By dropping to our level, dieing in the most horrifying way imaginable, then falling to hell for three days to conquer once and for all sin and death and to shred the screen keeping me and you from our Creator, Can you do anything less then give him your undivided devotion for the rest of your life???
I mean seriously, look at what we're doing. Even saying we are fighting for our future spouse is less then what you and I are called to. I am NOT going through what i am right now for another messed up human being. No mater how much fun she is or how hot she is OR how good a mother and wife she'll make, I will not fight the world and myself so that "I will be worthy of her".
What about being worthy Jesus? ____ has never done anything to save me.(i left the blank to fill in latter)

Have you ever thought about how much of the new testament is about marriage??
You know why it hardly says anything about dating vs. courting?? (btw, im so confused about what courting is anymore it could of said a bit more about it as far as im concerned)
It doesn't say much about it because the cause we are to steep our lives in is not preparing to be good husbands or wives or parents, it is to become closer and closer with God all the time. And to be so in tune with our Dad, that we do his perfect will here in this time confined reality that is the only reality we can see right now.
Please don't get me wrong, it is noble to want to be a good parent and we all(myself included) want to get married and live happily ever after. But it IS NOT the goal that we are to live for. To see some of us get wrapped up in "Keeping ourselves pure for him/her" you'd think that Jesus died so i could have a unhindered relationship with my wife! Remember the ultimate wedding in the end, when we are purified and made the bride of Christ!

We just need to focus on growing in Christ and storing up rewards in heaven. You know Paul said to fight continually so we do not lose the rewards we have stored up in heaven. It is a good thing to be consumed with earning riches up top, I don't know, maybe every time we do a good work we get a crown or something.(shrug) I mean Jesus said that every time we do good to the poor it is counted toward us!! Its almost like they where trying to tell us "Hay Guys, you have about 70 years to store up as much as you can, so work hard, for you will reap from for the rest of eternity"!!!!
And we still don't get it...

I'm going to fight for my king, He found a beggar looking for bread and he took me home to his castle,then He fed me and gave me clothes. And I now live to bring him honer for he is good. And you know what, one day i think I'm going to meet a princes who is pure, and full of life. And when i see that she is giving here life to the king the same way i am we might start helping each other out. Then im going to look in her past and see all the ppl she has helped and all the little kids who look up to her because shes great with kids. But she didn't do all of that with a future husband in mind, she did it because she finds her purpose not in being a mom someday or being a wife when her prince comes along, but in glorifying her King now.

You know what, I want to merry an awesome girl, I really do. But more then that, in the end, i want to walk into the great hall and look up and see the most amazing building ever. I wonder what it will look like, or what its made of. Maybe it is made from something we cant comprehend yet, maybe its built with light and color. Idk, but its going to be overwhelming and awesome. And then i am going to look straight forward and see The king who I spent my whole life serving sitting next to His Dad God the Father. Ill stand there just dazzled for a minuet, but when he Calls my name Im going to find the strength to walk slowly but boldly up to the thrown. And then, If He says to me "Well Done", then i will know that it was all worth it.


May The Lamb Who Was Slain Receive The Reward Of His Sufferings

I am a Prince of the Universe

A son of the King can never become more then he already is. Only closer to his Dad.

Don't wait to become, Realize who you are.

Looking back

Almost two years since I wrote on here. Seems like a lifetime, and like the other day at the same time. I remember when all my friends would check there blogs a few times a day to see who had the most followers. When it seemed part of my status who was following and who was not. I subconsciously tied so much of my life up in this blog and it seemed to become a part of my identity. A place where i could be who i wanted to be and a world where i could lose myself in and hope i was making a difference.

I never would have thought i would be where i am right now two years ago. God seems to show me something new about myself every time I seem to be getting comfortable. As soon as i become proud He brings me to a new level of brokenness where i have never been before.
Every time i have needed to be humbled i have been humbled, every time i have needed a friend i have had one. When ever i have needed God to just talk to me to show me this isn't a big game I've been playing He has. Looking back i have failed miserably and squandered Gods grace and He has shown me that He is My King, and that I am His Son.