To live and die for

I've been reading a discussion started by another blogger and it just really coincided with a thought that has been slowly putting itself together deep in me for the past week er two.

Anyway, i was flipping through my little dashboard thingy and the post heading "The Role's of a Woman" caught my attention and so I read through it and thought it could be an interesting conversation to follow so I had all the later comments emailed to me.

The day after I was at work talking to my boss about all sorts of stuff. Good and bad music,(rap being good and everything else bad ;) The Screwtape letters, life and death and whether its effeminate for guys to be health freaks(it is) just to name a few topics through out the day.

Somewhere in all of that I mentioned something about that teen girl who recently tried to sail around the world, but was ship wrecked instead. Well he asked me what kind of wife and mother a girl who would try something like that would make(yeah, i know, what kind of ? is that??)
It just struck me as humorous, anyway back to subject...

I started hashing through some of my own thinking, like what does make a good wife and mother? Or a good dad? Or a "steady young man" (yeah thats not relative at all!!)
When I sit down and think about it, what do i really want in the girl Im going to hangout with for the rest of me life?? Or she in me?
To condense it down to something edible, what is it in our "Conservative Christian circles" That us young guys and girls are all ways idolizing in the the opposite sex?

But you know, I think I (and alot of young of others) have it all wrong. Because if I stop and think about what i am doing I realize that I am pouring myself out for a less-then excellent cause. I have swore to live to die, and to die to live, That is to live with the purpose of dieing in myself. And in dieing to my own will, I find my life in the King who traded his life for mine. I am not trying to sound righteous or as if I am a young man who thinks he has it together. Read this slowly, imagining I am sitting with you out under the stars in a horse pasture at three in the morning talking about life and struggles.(I'm smiling thinking of how many times i have done this. To the bros that have laid on your faces in the grass late into the night praying and talking, know this, I will never forget :')
But we must realize that to pour our life out for anything, other then to serve
our God is to take the life he bought with blood and giving it to something, or someone else! By dropping to our level, dieing in the most horrifying way imaginable, then falling to hell for three days to conquer once and for all sin and death and to shred the screen keeping me and you from our Creator, Can you do anything less then give him your undivided devotion for the rest of your life???
I mean seriously, look at what we're doing. Even saying we are fighting for our future spouse is less then what you and I are called to. I am NOT going through what i am right now for another messed up human being. No mater how much fun she is or how hot she is OR how good a mother and wife she'll make, I will not fight the world and myself so that "I will be worthy of her".
What about being worthy Jesus? ____ has never done anything to save me.(i left the blank to fill in latter)

Have you ever thought about how much of the new testament is about marriage??
You know why it hardly says anything about dating vs. courting?? (btw, im so confused about what courting is anymore it could of said a bit more about it as far as im concerned)
It doesn't say much about it because the cause we are to steep our lives in is not preparing to be good husbands or wives or parents, it is to become closer and closer with God all the time. And to be so in tune with our Dad, that we do his perfect will here in this time confined reality that is the only reality we can see right now.
Please don't get me wrong, it is noble to want to be a good parent and we all(myself included) want to get married and live happily ever after. But it IS NOT the goal that we are to live for. To see some of us get wrapped up in "Keeping ourselves pure for him/her" you'd think that Jesus died so i could have a unhindered relationship with my wife! Remember the ultimate wedding in the end, when we are purified and made the bride of Christ!

We just need to focus on growing in Christ and storing up rewards in heaven. You know Paul said to fight continually so we do not lose the rewards we have stored up in heaven. It is a good thing to be consumed with earning riches up top, I don't know, maybe every time we do a good work we get a crown or something.(shrug) I mean Jesus said that every time we do good to the poor it is counted toward us!! Its almost like they where trying to tell us "Hay Guys, you have about 70 years to store up as much as you can, so work hard, for you will reap from for the rest of eternity"!!!!
And we still don't get it...

I'm going to fight for my king, He found a beggar looking for bread and he took me home to his castle,then He fed me and gave me clothes. And I now live to bring him honer for he is good. And you know what, one day i think I'm going to meet a princes who is pure, and full of life. And when i see that she is giving here life to the king the same way i am we might start helping each other out. Then im going to look in her past and see all the ppl she has helped and all the little kids who look up to her because shes great with kids. But she didn't do all of that with a future husband in mind, she did it because she finds her purpose not in being a mom someday or being a wife when her prince comes along, but in glorifying her King now.

You know what, I want to merry an awesome girl, I really do. But more then that, in the end, i want to walk into the great hall and look up and see the most amazing building ever. I wonder what it will look like, or what its made of. Maybe it is made from something we cant comprehend yet, maybe its built with light and color. Idk, but its going to be overwhelming and awesome. And then i am going to look straight forward and see The king who I spent my whole life serving sitting next to His Dad God the Father. Ill stand there just dazzled for a minuet, but when he Calls my name Im going to find the strength to walk slowly but boldly up to the thrown. And then, If He says to me "Well Done", then i will know that it was all worth it.


May The Lamb Who Was Slain Receive The Reward Of His Sufferings

I am a Prince of the Universe

A son of the King can never become more then he already is. Only closer to his Dad.

Don't wait to become, Realize who you are.

Looking back

Almost two years since I wrote on here. Seems like a lifetime, and like the other day at the same time. I remember when all my friends would check there blogs a few times a day to see who had the most followers. When it seemed part of my status who was following and who was not. I subconsciously tied so much of my life up in this blog and it seemed to become a part of my identity. A place where i could be who i wanted to be and a world where i could lose myself in and hope i was making a difference.

I never would have thought i would be where i am right now two years ago. God seems to show me something new about myself every time I seem to be getting comfortable. As soon as i become proud He brings me to a new level of brokenness where i have never been before.
Every time i have needed to be humbled i have been humbled, every time i have needed a friend i have had one. When ever i have needed God to just talk to me to show me this isn't a big game I've been playing He has. Looking back i have failed miserably and squandered Gods grace and He has shown me that He is My King, and that I am His Son.